Transforming your attitude towards life is a matter of exercise. We all should become more confident in order to start achieving what we really want and change those bad habits that make us live badly.
But, what to do to change bad habits? We usually think that the change is sudden and radical: I quit smoking, I will become thinner, I will be able to get the job I want. In reality, we continue to be the person we are, however this, instead of generating frustration, should serve as food for the spirit.
What is that we would like to change? What is the real reason for this? Finding out the real motivation behind it is crucial. Stop wanting to delete what you don’t like. Start directing attention to what you want. This way, the transformation is already beginning.
Listen and accept your needs
Start reflecting on your basic needs: for each of us they may be different, but it is important to ask yourself and listen to your answers, without rejecting what we would not like to admit. The truth is extraordinarily close, and usually far less dramatic and negative than we think. The second step is to accept yourself.
Be aware of your bad habits and replace them
Are you aware of what your bad habits are? Take a piece of paper and list all the actions (or thoughts!) That is not good for you, but that you usually do: seeing them in black and white will help you focus them. To change behavior that appears to have negative consequences for our life, it is necessary to replace bad habits.
Bad habits are often an easy way to fill a void, so trying to break them can be as difficult as it is frustrating. It is not a matter of willpower: if you have focused on what your bad habits are and are determined to eliminate them, write down three actions for each that you could do instead of how you usually act.
Do you eat when you are sad or in front of the TV? Try a manicure or crochet: you’ll keep yourself busy and at the same time feel satisfied, giving yourself space.
Do you drink too much coffee? Have fun experimenting with different fragrances and herbal teas: from green tea to infusions, you will discover new drinks. This doesn’t mean eliminating coffee entirely, but simply nurturing the pleasure of finding new things you like by transforming our limits.
21 days to change a habit
We are afraid of the unknown because what we know, however harmful it may be, is reassuring. Change is necessary, but it is necessary to want it. And not just in words. If you want to get rid of a bad habit, you need to nurture your awareness.
It can be difficult at first. Hang up the list of bad habits in a visible spot in the house and focus on your goals. Changing a life is living the present consciously. During the first few days, try to make an effort of attention and when you realize that you are about to fall back into the usual vortex of habitual actions, take a step back, breathe and stop!
It takes 21 days to change a habit, according to some studies, so it is essential to be able to interrupt the automatic mechanisms thanks to conscious attention to your gestures. Don’t evaluate your actions in terms of good/bad, right/wrong: in life, we simply make choices, every day, every moment.
What do you choose for your well-being?
Choose what makes you happy! Start living as if you have already touched the bottom of your wishes. For example, if you are on a diet, do not torture yourself with obsessions towards food or negative thoughts towards your figure. Visualize how beautiful you are, feel your body moving to the rhythm of a song, start seeing your winning sides, and don’t worry.
You can also go to a restaurant or a fast-food restaurant! Try to choose food not as a consolation or punishment, but by trying to be guided by what makes you happy, what nourishes and stimulates you. This can completely change the attitude of our choices.
Choose what you deserve
What binds us is the sense of security created by the ritual of habits: transform it into a ritual that helps your evolution. Acting strategically is important: do you drink little? Instead of a bottle, try two half-liter bottles: the quantity is identical, yet it works. But, it’s better, of course, if you stop. Because often the good, as well as the bad habits, speak of our vision of the world, of what we think it does for us.
Stop punishing yourself, and start thinking about everything you deserve. Your bad habits must cease making you a victim of it. Look them in the face and transform them. Are you ready to change course and abandon the usual mechanisms? You can do it!