What to do after a fight?

An argument, big or small, is never fun. It happens to everyone to argue, even in a rather exciting way. Maybe it starts with a slight disagreement and ends up slamming the door and running away. 

Making peace after an argument, however, sometimes seems to be complicated. Having established that you had a fight for a foolish reason and that the real problem was perhaps related to stress or a particular time of day, here is what you can do to make peace with your partner:

1 Apologize

In order to apologize, you must be convinced of what you say and, above all, you must be sincere. Take some time to understand how the discussion originated and what your faults are.

You can simply apologize for how the discussion went and hope that you can talk about the matter in a more constructive way. In order to apologize, you don’t necessarily have to be in the wrong. A partner who loves you will do the same; the important thing is not to be right but to confront.

2 Remorse, Responsibility, and Remedy

According to all couples therapists, the three Rs are really important in asking for forgiveness after an argument. Demonstrating that we are sorry for hurting the other even if we did not want to (remorse), accepting that we made a mistake (responsibility) and seeking a concrete solution (remedy) are the three steps to take to bring calmness back after the storm. Set them as a goal for yourself and your partner and making peace will seem as easy as drinking a glass of water!

3 Live meeting

If possible, wait until you see each other in order to make up. It does not matter how much time must pass before the meeting: it is always better to speak aloud and confront each other looking in the eyes. Ask for a meeting in a gentle but firm way: don’t force or insist with your partner if he doesn’t feel comfortable seeing you. It will be enough to wait a little while and then meet him or her in order to better resolve the situation.

4 Make a concrete gesture

You don’t need gold watches or giant bouquets of flowers (although they are always welcome). A concrete gesture can be a letter, a small gift, or simply a message that reassures the other of our feelings for him despite the discussion.

Arguing happens to everyone and it is not wrong: however, showing that we do not want to screw everything up is very important. There is no need to swear eternal love or show us desperate: just an invitation to talk about it soon, a goodnight thought despite the fight, or even a very simple “I think of you”. A small gesture can work real miracles.

To many quarrels, especially when you are in a couple, are to be taken into account. But if you spend more time arguing than being together then maybe you are doing something wrong, or maybe you don’t have a healthy relationship.

If making peace becomes more and more impossible, ask yourself if it is really worth having a partner with whom to fight and that’s it. Sometimes it is better to be alone…